


The Shape of It

by KylosCookieJar



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Ben and Rey grow up together, Cousin Incest, Cousins, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forbidden Love, HEA, He's like her brother, It sick and i love it, Light Angst, Rey Is Seventeen, Size Difference, alot of these stories have ben as the aggressor, and heavy smut, but I decided how hot would it be for him to be the one to try to turn her down all the time, rey knows what she wants and its behind bens ping pong paddle, slowish burn, the concept that not even blood ties will keep rey and ben apart.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KylosCookieJar/pseuds/KylosCookieJar
Summary: Rey Skywalker had been left to the care of the Solo's at a young age and her and her cousin Ben have grown up together, forming a close, inseparable bond. He was like her big brother, her best friend, and she is overjoyed to have him home again after his college graduation.Her joy slowly turns to thirst as she realizes how much of a man her Ben has become and he, alone and obliviously, becomes responsible for her sexual awakening.Of course at first, Ben Solo tries to resist. She's like his sister and he struggles in his own battle of will versus want.But Rey is a force to be reckoned with and he slowly gives in, crossing over into the darkside, where forbidden love and pleasure become their obsession.





	1. Ben Comes Home

**Author's Note:**

> KCJ here. 
> 
> Welcome to my depravity. 
> 
> This first chapter doesn't have much, just a bit of world building. But it will get there, I promise. 
> 
> This is also the first of a few darker fics I have planned so stay tuned. 
> 
> Everything will be appropriately tagged. This story here is mostly forbidden smut and fluff. 
> 
> But if you don't like it, there's the back button.

Rey pulled her phone out from her pocket, checking the clock on the screen with  frown before shoving it back into her clothes. Her knee bounced impatiently as she slumped in the tiny plastic scoop shaped chair. It jostled the entire row of connected seats and Rey was grateful she was sitting alone so she wouldn't disturb anyone with her restlessness. The airport was milling with people, crying and reconnecting and Rey glared at them from underneath her hooded jacket as she pulled out her phone, checking the time yet again.

His flight was late.

She huffed, taking out her phone and leaning forward, her thumbs already a blur over the device.

 

>  
> 
> **~ Rey : 17:24 ~** **  
> **_Make that plane fly faster. You’re late._ **  
>   
>  **

She stared at the little picture that represented his contact on her phone. It was taken the last time he had come home to visit, he had flipped the camera off with his prominent middle finger and she had snapped it just in time. The phone buzzed and she smiled at his reply.  


 

> **~ Ben : 17:25 ~** **  
> **_I forgot how fucking impatient you are. Landing soon._  
> 
> 
> **~ Rey : 17:25 ~** **  
> **_Leia has timed her dinner to your arrival. Precisely._ **  
> **
> 
> **~ Ben : 17:25 ~** **  
> **_It was mom’s mistake betting her dinner on the TSA checkpoints._ **  
> **
> 
> **~ Rey : 17:26 ~** **  
> **_She made her roast._ **  
> **
> 
> **~ Ben : 17:26 ~** **  
> **_Fuck._  
> 
> 
> **~ Rey : 17:26 ~** **  
> **_It’s gonna be so dry._  
> 
> 
> **~ Ben : 17:26 ~** **  
> **_I’ll buy us some burgers later._ **  
> **
> 
> **~ Rey : 17:27 ~** **  
> **_You better. You’re late._  
> 
> 
> **~ Ben : 17:31~** **  
> **_Why don’t you just come hug me already?_ **_  
>   
>  _**

Rey looked up from her phone to see Ben standing at the end of the hallway, a wide smile dimpling his face. An overladen backpack was seen peeping behind his wide shoulders and he carried his suitcase beside him, forgoing the wheels. Rey’s eyes widened as she realized how much he had grown since the last time she had hugged him goodbye. He had on the sweatshirt that she had bought him last Christmas, although at this point it barely fit him.

It was with a light shriek that she launched herself at him, her long legs thundering down the hall and he quickly set his suitcase down, readying his arms as she flew at him.

He gave a light grunt as they collided, bracing his body as Rey threw her legs around him. She latched on, pulling herself up as she wrapped her arms and his neck, clinging to him, clutching like a drowning soul. His arms came around to support her, squeezing her closer and Rey felt like sobbing as she breathed him in.

He still smelled the same, like fresh fallen snow, like his cigarettes and the same masculine soap he has always used. Like home.

“You must have really missed me,” he chuckled against her and Rey slid down his body as she slowly released him. His hands lingered on her back, her hips, before he let her go.

“Shut up,” she answered with a sniff, rubbing her nose with her jacket sleeve.

“C’mon, kid,” he grinned, picking up his suitcase. “The longer we linger, the drier that roast gets.”

“Don’t call me _kid_ ,” Rey argued as she led the way out of the airport. “I’m seventeen now, you jerk.”

“I’m still older. And bigger.”

“Yea. I can see that,” Rey rolled her eyes as they left the building. “They must be feeding you straight up hormones over there.”

Ben gave her wink. He followed her out into the parking lot, pausing as they stopped at his old black 1992 Chevy Tracker. It was the two door hardtop model and Ben had spend the last years of his teenage life babying the mini roadster down to each lugnut. All of the aftermarket upgrades and additions he had made were more expensive than the car itself

“What are you doing, driving my _Silencer_?” He grumbled, opening the back latch to toss his suitcase inside. He slammed it with a click and folded his arms over his chest as he looked at his younger cousin.

“What kind of loser car name is _‘Silencer’_?” Rey teased as she pulled out her keys.

“Nu-uh,” Ben laughed nervously. “I’m driving.” He made a  grab for her keys and Rey quickly sidestepped him.

“Says who? How do you think I got here in the first place? You get to ride shotgun this time.” Rey opened the drivers side door, sliding in and slamming it closed in his flabbergasted face. He sulked as he climbed into the passenger seat and Rey snorted as he swore, adjusting the seat back and then back again to try to accommodate his tall frame.

He gripped the door handle, wincing as Rey pulled out of the parking lot, purposely taking the turn a little too sharp. She laughed, accelerating harder than normal to tease him.

They had always been close, growing up more like siblings than cousins. Rey had moved into the Solo house when she was four, taking to Ben’s mother Leia as if she had been her own. Luke, Leia’s own twin brother and Rey’s hapless father, was not cut out for the life of single parenthood, having lost Rey’s mother the day she was born. They had all agreed that Rey would be better off in the solid unit of the Solo family and Luke had left her behind, his hopeful smile full of tears as he left to explore the world. A journey of self discovery he had called it.

The last she heard, he was studying with monks in the Himalayas and even though the postcards and letters he sent home to her made her smile, he was a distant presence in her life. Han, who was Ben’s father, became the paternal figure to her, teaching her to ride her bike, how to change a tire, even how to throw a nasty right hook.

Ben, who was a gangly teenager new to puberty when she had joined their household, had taken an instant liking to her. The first few months of living with a family was unfamiliar and difficult to little Rey, yet she always knew she could turn to Ben for a smile. He could give her piggy back rides, thrown her a silly face, or sneak her extra sweets, just to bring her toothy grin back to her face. He would let her practice makeup on his face, Rey coating his pale skin in layers of color, playing connect the dots with the smattering of marks on his face.

He was her constant. Her rock. It was his bed that she leapt into when the thunderstorms shook the house. It was his arms that she sought when had a hard day at school. He was her best friend and as she grew older, she became the same for  him.

They were nearly inseparable; there was no force in the galaxy that would dare come between Ben and his Rey, Rey and her Ben.

No force except the ever present juggernaut of time.

Rey was nearly thirteen by the time Ben left home. He had stuck around as long as his parents would let him, keeping a job as a pizza delivery boy after graduating from high school and dumping his hard earned tips into the Silencer. Eventually, he agreed on a college and the day he left was the day Rey’s heart felt like it had been torn in two.

It was only when he came home that she ever felt fully recovered.

Rey glanced at her reluctant passenger as she made a last minute merge onto the highway, his face wincing as she squeezed into her lane. She was honestly a relatively good driver, but watching Ben squirm, especially with her behind the wheel of his car, was a delicious retaliation to his absence.

“Jesus, Rey,” he hissed as she wove into another lane. “Who the fuck taught you to drive?”

“Uncle Chewie.” Rey snickered as she passed another car.

“You do know he had his license revoked like three times?” Ben grabbed the handle and braced himself for Rey’s crazy turn onto the exit ramp.    

“Yep. But no one else was around, so…” Rey answered nonchalantly, the unspoken argument seemed to crackle through the air between them.

Ben’s jaw clenched as they pulled into the Solo’s neighborhood, the houses getting larger and spaced further apart as Rey sped through the streets. She finally pulled up to the large circular drive that was in front of the elaborate Solo home and Ben quickly spilled out of his Trackster. He immediately yanked out a pack and lit his cigarette in the cradle of his palm before leaning back against his car breathing out a fan of smoke.

“Fuck, I needed this after being in _my_ car with you behind the wheel,” he groaned, taking another deep drag.

“Drama queen,”Rey teased, yanking his backpack out of the backseat and throwing it over her shoulder. She went to open the back hatch and found his hand coming over hers. It was unfamiliar in its size; massive, warm, and it glided over her skin as he stilled her movements.

“I got it.”

He yanked the heavy luggage from the back and Rey closed the hatch before following him up to the front steps of the house. Ben took one last inhale from his cigarette, his wide lips curling and crinkling around the stick of tobacco before he dropped the leftovers on the brick stoop, snuffing it with a roll of his heavy boot.

“Alright,” he coughed. “Let’s get this over with.”

The sight of her Ben back within the walls of her home was something that brought Rey instant comfort. She stood back, still holding his backpack, while he hugged and greeted his parents. She smirked as he feigned innocence over Leia’s complaint over the cigarette smell and he turned to shoot Rey a secret wink.

Having him home again was like she was finally releasing a breath she had been holding for months. He had come back for a few days here and there for Christmases and summer vacations, but it was never enough.

This time could be different; he had graduated. She could get him to stay.

Ben glanced at Rey,  nodding at his backpack. “Wanna throw that in my room?”

“Sure.” Rey gave a nod and headed upstairs, Ben following behind with his suitcase.

“Hurry up.” Leia called out after them. “Dinner’s been waiting.”

“Not enough gravy in the world.” Ben grumbled as Rey opened the door to his room with a light chuckle.

It was, for the most part, exactly as he had left it. Ben’s room had always been a place of comfort for Rey and it continued to be so long after he had left. She had spent her worst nights curled on his duvet, surrounded by his navy blue walls and space posters. It wasn’t often that she stayed; he had a king bed due to his height and without him around the bed was just horribly big and lonely.

Ben tossed his suitcase on the floor and gently took his backpack from her shoulders.

“I have a present for you,” he murmured, his smile crinking all those lines around his mouth.

“Really?” Rey eyed his backpack with interest.

“After dinner,” he promised. “Let’s go  see how much of that roast we can choke down first.”

It wasn’t much. Rey had slathered her portion in as much gravy as she could without it floating off her plate and a quick glance confirmed that Ben had done the same. Leia happily chatting, oblivious to the heavy chewing it took for her kids to choke down their food. She too was enjoying having everyone together under the same roof again. Rey ducked her head, sneaking her phone out of her pocket and sending a quick text.

 

> **~ Rey : 19:05 ~** **  
> ** _You can pick me up a cheeseburger, extra ketchup. Med fry_ _  
> _ _and a strawberry shake. Kthnx._

She pushed her food around on her plate to make it look eaten, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling as Ben checked his texts with a snort. Together they pushed through dinner and Ben helped clear the table, quickly whisking away the evidence of their barely touched plates before his mother could see.  

Rey washed up the dishes, as she normally did and watched as Ben came in, kissing his mother on the top of her head. Everything felt so right, so complete with him home and she smiled as she set the last of the glasses on the drying rack.

“I’m going to shower. Been traveling all day.” Ben sniffed at his sweatshirt as testament.

“See you tomorrow, Benny,” Leia replied warmly. “Your father and I are going to bed early. He has a board meeting tomorrow and you all know how much he loves showing up for those.”

Both Rey and Ben snorted. Han was the owner of Falcon Enterprises, a global shipping company, and he hated all the responsibilities that came with heading the business. Everyone knew he preferred to stay behind the scenes in his well worn denims and flannel while Leia took care of the business side. But he was always required at the board meetings, a chore that would require Leia to drag him into a suit before marching him in front of the shareholders.

“Make sure to sneak some whiskey in his pocket,” Ben encouraged with a wink before heading upstairs. “Night, Rey.”

Rey mumbled a response, knowing that he didn’t mean it.

Her Ben still owed her cheeseburgers after all.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                


	2. Strawberry Milkshake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for such a wonder and kind response to the first chapter. Cousin Ben stories aren't for everyone so I appreciate every bit of it. 
> 
> Here we go. Rey awakens.

Rey waited in Ben’s room. Both Han and Leia had disappeared to their first level master suite and Ben was still in his shower. She could hear the water running from his connected bathroom and the occasional sounds of him humming to himself and she grinned as she sprawled on his bed, scrolling in half boredom through Facebook. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to spend time together after the parents had gone to bed; it was how he taught her to be a shark at poker by age ten. She had always thought of him as her older brother, despite their cousin blood. It was easier that way and felt like a natural sibling relationship.

The tap turned off and the pipes went silent, his cheery whistle echoing through the room and Rey picked up the tune, humming the melody. She heard the latch click on his bathroom door and she glanced up to see him exit, water still running down his pale skin. 

_ Fuck.  _

He was completely naked. 

She shrieked in response, startling Ben to her presence and he swore, grabbing the nearest item to try to cover himself. Rey couldn’t help but laugh at the image of the dripping hulking man before her, doing his damnedest to cover himself with a pingpong paddle. He was failing, too sizable to regain his modesty and he shouted, flinging water from his thick hair as he flailed. 

“Fucking hell! Goddammit, Rey! Get out of here!”

Rey scrambled, her cheeks flaming and laughter still bubbling from her lungs as she flew from his room into the safety of her own. She was breathless as she slammed the door, leaning on its solid wood as she fought to catch her breath. Her nervous giggles faded into a couple of hiccups as her mind slowly rewinded on the past few minutes. 

She had seen Ben naked before once. Long ago, back when he was still had a voice that squeaked and his arms and legs were too long and skinny for the rest of him. They had been at a public swimming pool and Rey had wandered into his changing room, as always, as ever his constant shadow. She thought nothing back then of what her cousin had between his legs. 

That was definitely not the case this time. 

She felt her body heat as she stared at the memory of him. He was broader now, his shoulders powerful and wide, only slightly tapering into an equally expansive chest. Rey could have sworn she saw the shadowed definition of abs as well, before he had bent over to try to cover his…

Her cheeks flamed at the memory of  it. She had seen dicks before; it took little to no effort to remove the parental settings on her Google searches, but Ben’s was… different. 

It was big, for one. More than what she had ever seen for one that wasn’t fully erect. Thick and wide, like the rest of him, and crowned by a smattering of trimmed black  hair. She found herself wondering what it would look like fully erect. Would she even be able to wrap her small hand around it? 

Rey felt a slight throb between her legs and she leaned her head back, unfamiliar flickerings of pleasure firing through her body, awakening new connections, creating new senses and she couldn’t help but gasp. There was a strong desire to slide her hand between her legs and search for more of the feeling that the image Ben brought forth in her body. 

The cusp of the pleasure she had felt was addicting and she wanted more. 

Rey unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them them off her legs and kicking them to the floor. She scurried to her bed, flouncing back and letting her hand drift down, slipping it under the elastic band. She had no idea what she was looking for but she knew she needed to finish it. Her fingers slid through dampened skin and she bit her lip in frustration. Like any girl, she had explored herself and the mystery of what was between her legs, but it had only been with the intention of discovery, never pleasure. 

The feeling that she was wanting was starting to fade and Rey growled, thinking back on her Ben. She thought of his wide planes of muscle, still dripping wet, the water running gracefully over his body. Like ice cream dribbling, escaping over the edge of a cone. Rey licked her lips, imagining her tongue over his skin. The flickers of pleasure started again under her fingers and she groaned, pushing back into the pillows. 

She was sick. 

Ben was practically her brother. 

And yet here she was, fingers crammed under the fabric of her panties, urging her own pleasure to the memory of his body, his cock. 

She felt herself twitch at thought of him, swinging hefty between his legs. Her lips parted as she wondered what it would be like to see him fully hard. Maybe she could bring him to such a state with her mouth. Rey grunted as her fingers collided with something that sent a jolt of pleasure through her. 

_ Yes. More of that. _

Rey focused on where she had found the jolt and let her thoughts spiral even further.  _ Ben ben ben _ . Ben over her, rubbing his thick cock against her instead of her fingers. Ben’s lips kissing, marking her as his hand delved between her legs, splitting her open for the first time. Ben finding pleasure in her body, his cock doing whatever it did to expel itself over her skin. 

It didn’t take long for her pleasure to build, avalanching and multiplying rapidly as her thoughts descended into the forbidden. She was panting now, her fingers finding a steady rhythm of what she needed. 

_ Almost there…. big brother. _

Her first ever orgasm was torn sweetly and brutally from her body, hips arching instinctually from the bed and she gasped, trying to find her breath as pleasure stole everything from her body. 

“Holy fuck,” Rey whispered into the empty room, her body still throbbing, clenching deep within her, milking a cock that wasn’t there. She slowly pulled her hand from her panties and sat up in her bed, breathing heavily. 

What was wrong with her that she just got off to thoughts of her own brother? 

Before she could tear apart her thoughts, there was a knock at the door and Rey quickly pulled a blanket over her bare legs. 

“Come in,” she called out, her voice breaking slightly. The door cracked open and Rey’s heart suddenly quickened, her face filling with heat as Ben peeked into her room with a cautious look on his face.  

“Are you mad at me, kid?” His eyes were wide, almost puppy like as he entered, the door clicking closed behind him. “I bring you apology burgers.” He held out a greasy paper bag from her favorite take out place and Rey shot him a glare. 

“Stop calling me kid,” she grumbled, reaching out for her bag of food. He broke into his usual wide smile, only this time Rey was suddenly aware of just how plush his lips were. Ben walked over, climbing on her small twin bed and commandeering the entire bottom half with his legs. 

“Scoot over,” he urged and Rey backed up against her headboard, the old fashioned metal frame creaking under her weight. He spread out the food between them and Rey immediately grabbed her burger, unwrapping it and shoving it into her mouth. 

“I see some things never change,” Ben smirked as he watched her chew with full cheeks. “You and your food.” He snickered at Rey’s answering scowl, grabbing a handful of fries. The two of them ate in silence for a few minutes before Ben cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for shouting at you, Rey. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just…” he stopped, glancing at her with sheepish eyes. “I’ve gotten used to not having to worry about covering up in front of people.” 

“You’ve gotten used to not having me around, you mean,” Rey twisted his words. 

“Rey,” he frowned, his brows scrunching. “It’s not like that. I miss having you around. I promise. I don’t want you feel like things have changed between us. I’ll remember my towel next time.”

“So I can still come in your room?” Rey asked, swallowing her third bite. 

“Absolutely. Just like always.” 

“Ok,” Rey smiled. “I’ve missed you, you big oaf.” 

“I know,” Ben reached over to ruffle her hair.  “I’ve missed you too, kid.” 

She ignored the flop in her chest. “Are you going to stay awhile this time?” Rey’s voice was quiet as she asked; she tried not to be too hopeful.

“I don’t know,” he admitted slowly. “I mean I’m done with school and all, but…”

“What?” Rey pressed. “Why don’t you want to come home? I can help you find a job for your business degree… or we can ask Han to give you a position at Falcon?” 

“He already offered,” Ben sighed, finishing off his fries. “I just don’t know yet, ok kid?” 

“Is it some girl?” Rey questioned, dread filling her chest. 

His lack of reply gave her all the answer she needed and her chest felt like it was slowly caving in on itself. There were sharp prickles that stabbed deep, straight through as she watched Ben avoid her gaze. She had felt them before but never this sharply. 

_ Jealousy _ . 

“I met someone recently,” he finally muttered. “It’s still new so I just don’t know. I can’t answer anything right now, Rey. I have a lot to think about.”

Rey ignored the sting of tears and the sudden lump in her throat. She couldn’t imagine Ben belonging to anyone else. He was hers. He was always hers. 

“Where’s my milkshake?” she whispered. He looked at her, recognizing the hurt on her face and his own expression crumbled, breaking.

“Rey.”

“Milkshake.”

He leaned down and brought it forward, Rey reaching out to snatch it. It had melted a bit at this point and she jostled it, sending runny cream over her fingers. 

“Shit,” Ben exclaimed and he reacted quickly, sticking Rey’s fingers into his mouth to keep them from dripping onto the bed. 

Rey felt a new flood of arousal soak through her as Ben’s tongue, warm and wet, rolled over her fingers as he sucked her skin clean. She bit her lip to keep from groaning as she watched him, his eyes fluttering as his lips closed over her. 

_ Oh, shit.  _

Rey suddenly remembered where her hand had been earlier; he was cleaning off much  _ more  _ than just her milkshake. 

She suddenly found it hard to breathe. Ben slowly pulled at her hand, sliding her fingers out from in between his lips, a curious expression on his face. There was a flicker of recognition and he moved as if he was going to take them on his tongue again before he froze. Ben dropped her hand suddenly as if it burned and shot up from her bed, scrambling to the other side of the room. 

Rey stared at him quizzically as he moved, slightly panicked, threading his hands anxiously through his hair and disheveling it into a thorough mess. 

“I uh- gotta go,” he mumbled. “I’ll help you clean up the food in the morning.” Ben didn’t meet her eyes as he threw himself through her door, slamming it closed behind him.    
  
Rey’s room seemed to echo with the shudder of the door and she stared at it, gobsmacked at Ben’s reaction. 

Could he tell? Could he taste  _ her _ ? 

The thought made her shiver and she slowly moved to gather up the trash, no longer interested in the melted strawberry dessert. 

What she was actually interested in was ten feet down the hall. 

Rey frowned, crawling into her bed. There was no way that she would let some new bitch take away her Ben. He was hers. He would always be hers. And she wanted him, all of him, right down to the thick lines of his cock. She felt a shiver of a thrill run through her at the thought of him being her first. 

It made sense. There was no one else she could ever imagine having her first. 

_ First and always.  _

Rey flicked off her bedside light, her mind whirling at ideas of how to convince Ben to stay, to be hers instead. She had no idea how long she had, but he wasn’t going to slip away without a fight. Not this time. 

Ben would be hers. 

He had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could really go for a milkshake right now, to be honest. 
> 
> See you soon! ;)


	3. Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long window between updates. The last month was a mess for me. I realize this is the second food focused chapter-- my bad. 
> 
> Back to the relationship building.

Rey woke the next morning to find the sun high in the sky. Her room had already been cleaned of all evidence of leftover food and she wondered how long Ben had been up. She had thought long and hard about how she wanted to make Ben hers; she couldn’t go too fast, else he would freak out and leave. Neither did she want to go too slow and run out of time. It had to be perfectly timed.

And it had to start today.

Rey took a quick shower and threw on her clothes. She had gone for one of her skirts that she had should have donated last year. It was now indecently short, showing every inch of her legs. They were fairly shapely too and Rey turned around to look at the back in the mirror. She could see just the slight curve of her ass from underneath the blue striped fabric. Perfect.

There would have been no way Leia would have let her wear it down the staircase, let alone out of the house. Thankfully, her and Han would be at Falcon all day with the shareholders and wouldn’t be home until late, leaving her to subject the ridiculously short skirt on Ben.

She paired it with a tight fitting white tank, nothing that would draw extra attention, before she headed downstairs, a determined bounce in her step. Ben was already dressed and in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a steaming mug and a thick binder opened before him.

“Morning,” he greeted, not bothering to look up from the text heavy pages before him. “I went ahead a cleared out all the trash from the take out. Don’t want you to get bugs and shit.” “

“Thanks, Ben.” Rey rummaged through the cabinets for her favorite mug, a wide ceramic cup with a cute cartoon critter on one side. Ben had given it to her many years ago and she carefully tucked it into the family Keurig before shoving in her favorite cup flavor.

The machine jingled as it started and Ben frowned, flicking through the pages of his binder. Rey noticed that several of the pages had the Falcon Enterprises logo on the header and she couldn’t help the swell of hope that gathered in her chest.

“You’re too young for coffee,” he grumbled.

“Am not. I’m almost an adult. In other countries, I already am.” She missed arguing with him and she pulled her finished brew out with a grin, bringing her fox cup to her lips.

“The caffeine is bad for you,” he argued, lifting his own cup to take a sip. “Stunts your growth.”

“Lies,” Rey said after swallowing. “I know for a fact that you drank coffee all through high school and look how huge you’ve gotten. You’re like a motherfucking Evergreen.”

An Evergreen that she was ready to climb.

“So, Falcon Enterprises?” Rey  moved close to stand right behind him, becoming distracted by the way his neck tightened, corded muscle and tendons flexing into a rounded shoulder as he turned the pages.

“Don’t read too much into it, Rey,” he said softly. “I told you, I have a lot of options to consider.” He slammed the binder closed and a pen rolled away from the impact, dropping to the tiled floor with a clack.

Rey took the opportunity, darting forward and bending down to grab the pen. She knew exactly what Ben would be face first with and she took an extra second, fingers skimming over the pen.

“Almost have it,” she tried. She could tell precisely when Ben had glanced over as she heard a sharp intake of air hissing into his lungs and the slap of a palm on the table.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Ben choked and Rey felt him stand quickly, shoving back his chair. Rey stood, whirling around with an innocent look on her face, twirling the pen in her fingers.

“What?”

“Tell me that mom doesn’t let you leave the house in that,” he ran a large hand over face, partially out of exasperation, but also in an attempt to cover the view before him.

“In what?” Rey teased.

“Don’t play fucking stupid, Rey.” Ben kept his eyes high, practically staring at her hairline as he reached over to pluck his pen from her fingers. “Go upstairs and change.”

“It’s just a skirt, Ben,” she argued, putting her hands on her hips in defiance. “Don’t be such a prude.”

“I can see your ass,” he argued. “It’s literally hanging out the back.” Rey turned, attempting to look over her shoulder while exposing herself to him yet again. Ben quickly held up a hand to cover the view.

Rey snorted. “You’re being ridiculous. You’ve practically seen me naked.”

“You were a kid!” He was getting flustered and his face flamed red. “Now you’re…”

“I’m…?” Rey pressed.

“Just change your fucking clothes.” Ben grumbled before storming out of the kitchen. “I don’t want anyone else looking at you either.”

The front door slammed as Ben left the house and Rey felt the bitter bite of disappointment. She had wanted to tease him, not piss him off so much that he left. She sighed, dumping out the rest of her coffee and rinsing the fox cup before heading back upstairs. The skirt was discarded and flung into the trash and she slid on a pair of jeans before heading back downstairs. Ben was coming back into the house as she reached the landing and she stopped, chewing on her lips as she looked at him.

A look of relief passed over his face as he noted her changed attire and he gave a little shrug, holding open his arms for a hug. His face was so cautious, so apprehensive it took Rey back a bit.  She strode over and embraced him, filling her arms with the mass that was her Ben. He had just smoked; the scent of the tobacco clung to his skin and his clothes and Rey couldn’t help but nuzzle in a little deeper. He was so warm.

Ben’s arms came around her and he rested his chin on her head. “I hate fighting. But... fighting with you is even worse.”

Rey nodded, her cheek rubbing into him. She could feel the heavy thudding of his heart beneath his skin and she squeezed tight, taking as much of him as she could for herself.

“What do you say we go out for breakfast now that you’re _actually_ dressed,” he teased, his words puffing through her hair.

“The Dagobah Diner has the best pancakes,” Rey answered. Ben pulled away and Rey immediately missed being surrounded by his warmth, his scent. He shot her a wide smile, the lines of his face dimpling around the stubble of his facial hair.

“I remember,” he chuckled. “Extra strawberries, right kid?”

Rey rolled her eyes at him but inside her heart rolled in her chest.  

 

* * *

 

Ben had always been serious about his food and that hadn’t changed a bit. Rey pushed the prongs of her her fork into another fresh, syrupy strawberry, watching in amusement as her brother polished off his third plate of shortstacks. He gave a great sigh, leaning back in the booth to rub his stomach. The fabric bunched around his fingers as he stretched and Rey tried not to stare a the slip of pale skin he exposed above his hips. There was beauty mark there too; he was covered in them and she wanted to find them all.

“I could almost go for another,” he groaned and Rey snorted, sticking her tongue out to catch a drop of sugary fruit juice that had run down the berry. She captured it right at the tip and she licked the speared fruit like it was a candied treat before sliding it between her lips and sucking it free of the rest of the juice.

She pulled it free from her mouth, the glistening strawberry making an audible pop as it left her lips and Rey smiled, bringing it back to take a nibble.

She fucking loved strawberries.

“Would you just eat the damn thing?!” Ben suddenly snapped and Rey glanced over in surprise to see him fisting his fork in a white knuckled grip, glaring at her mouth as if it had offended him.

 _Oh_.

She realized how she must have looked with the fruit and blushed, her cheeks pinkening under the heat of Ben’s stare. Rey responded by biting into the fruit with a solid chomp and Ben winced.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, tossing his fork onto one of his empty plates and swallowing back his coffee with a single swallow. He licked his lips as the mug clinked back against the table, clenching his lower lip in a way that dimpled the skin. “It’s not your fault. I’m really on edge for some reason.”

“Surely it hasn’t been that long since you’ve gotten laid,” Rey teased, the thought of someone else all over her Ben making the sweet berries turn bitter in her mouth.

He shot her a dark look, his eyes peeking from under his furrowed brow. “That’s really none of your business.”

Rey frowned, pushing her plate away and Ben eyeballed the abandoned food. “We used to tell each other everything,” she said softly, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re my best friend, Ben.”

“You’re mine too, but-” Ben tried to argue.  

“They why have you stopped talking to me?” Rey’s voice wobbled as the built up walls she had thrown up to keep herself from confronting her own pain came crashing down. “The Ben I knew would have told me about Dad offering him a position, that he had a girlfriend, or even that he was coming fucking home. Do you know how much it hurt to have heard that from Leia and not _you_?” Tears were streaming down her face now and she could read the shame that flooded her brother’s face.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “You know I can’t stand to see you cry.” He moved quietly from his seat and slid into hers, pulling her against him. Rey dried her tears into his shirt and relaxed into his chest as he rubbed her back. He always knew what she needed. His body vibrated beneath her, warm and deep as he continued to speak. “You know I tried right? Everyday, for weeks after I left, I called home for you. You would barely answer. I thought you hated me.”

Rey sniffed, shaking her head. His hands came up to weave into her hair and she felt like purring under his touch. “I could never hate you. It- it just hurt. I felt so alone and you always sounded like you were loving your life without me. Like you were having so much fun and I was the only one miserable.”

Ben’s lungs made a chuffing noise. “I _was_ miserable. I only pretended I was enjoying my time away so I wouldn’t come running straight back home. Then I just got used to it, I suppose. I’m so sorry, Rey.” She could feel him embrace her, his arm coming around her and his nose nestling into her hair. “I never stopped missing you. I hope you know that.”

“I do now,” Rey answered. “You’re everything to me, Ben.”

He was silent as he held her, the two of them breathing slow and deep, exhalations in sync. Rey heard Ben’s stomach make and noise under her ear and she smirked.

“Still eyeballing my pancakes?” she asked into his shirt.

He shifted, clearing his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Rey snorted, moving to pull away from him. “Have at them, I’m full.”

His arm tightened around her and he pushed her back against him. “Stay,” he seemed to growl. He shifted them and Rey moved instinctually, slipping further into his lap and turning to allow him to reach out and grab her plate. She stayed curled perfectly into him as he forked off a bite, chewing softly.

“Her name is Gwen,” he said after awhile. Rey tensed and he ran a soothing hand down her side until she relaxed again. “We met in my last term, in one of my economics classes. She was fun to talk to, she has an intimidating point of view of the world. We got to know each other and had a few dates.”

“Have you slept with her?” Rey couldn’t keep the question from escaping and once it was out there, spinning in the air between them, she wished she could take it back. The time it took for him to answer her felt stretched, an acrid taffy that looped between them.

“I’m not a fucking monk, Rey,” he finally answered and Rey hated it. Ben shifted her in his lap as he moved to take another bite of her strawberry cakes. “What about you? Got any boyfriends I need to beat up?”

Rey had friends that were boys, but no boyfriends. She was never really interested in anyone sexually, not until just recently at least. “Not yet.” Perhaps Ben would be jealous if  he were to see her with someone.

“Hmmm.” Ben seemed to growl a little. “Better keep it that way. You don’t need any boyfriends.”

He would _definitely_ be jealous.

“Especially since I have you, right?” Rey teased.

Ben grunted an affirmative, his mouth full of the last of her cakes. He swallowed his last bite and added her empty plate to his pancake massacre. “Wanna get out of here? I hear the dollar theater is playing ‘Darkness Rises’.”

Rey grinned at the mention of one of their shared favorite horror movies and she nodded. Ben signaled for the check, the waitress handing it over with a warm smile as Rey gently pulled away from his solid frame.

“You and your girlfriend enjoy your day.”

“Thanks.” Ben muttered, riffling through his wallet and selecting a large bill, leaving it behind for a generous tip. He glanced over at Rey and gave a dimpled smile. “You ready?” She nodded before following him out the diner, her heart fluttering in her chest. Whether it was from the word 'girlfriend' or the fact he didn't bother correcting her, she didn't know. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for getting to the end. See you soon! 
> 
> ;)


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